#RubinskyWedding Finding the Officiant

Kate and Devin have an Officiant and I just could not wait to share with y’all this small interview!


How did you start the process of finding an officiant?

My parents had expressed to me that they would like us to be married by someone who held a religious office, with the understanding that it might not be a priest. Devin and I talked about it for a bit and then decided to begin looking at our options. I began researching interfaith officiants, as I am Catholic and Devin is Jewish, and came across a few options. The one that stood out to me was a female Rabbi from Philadelphia that did interfaith weddings. I sent her website to Devin. He had, strangely enough, found the same exact person, as he was also searching for officiants.

How many officiants did you meet with?

We only met with one officiant. When we discovered that we were both researching the same person at the same time, we decided to take that as a sign. We agreed that we would meet with her and see how we felt afterwards, as to not make any quick decisions. Long story short, we loved her so much that we only needed to meet with one.

What kinds of questions did you ask? What did your officiant ask you?

The meeting started off with Devin and me both filling out questionnaires about ourselves. It asked questions about our lives, our education, our job, our families, our religious backgrounds, and other basic questions. We then had a conversation with the Rabbi about her life, religious background, and also talked more about myself and Devin. We then discussed what a traditional Jewish ceremony would look like and ways that people have modified it in the past to make it their own. She also described her process in preparing her couples for their weddings; what she does in the months leading up to the big day. Finally, we asked about pricing.

What made you and Devin know this was the person you wanted to marry you?

Our meeting with the Rabbi felt like more of a causal conversation of getting to know each other, compared to the business meeting feel of all of the venue we went to. Meeting with her felt so comfortable and right, especially given the ‘sign’ of us both looking at her website at the same time. After the meeting, Devin and I had a conversation about it and how we felt, and agreed that she was the one to marry us.

Will you be having a traditional or modern ceremony?

I see ourselves as having a modern ceremony. It is going to be an interfaith ceremony and will incorporate aspects of both our religious backgrounds. What we specifically have in the ceremony is still being finalized, but the individual pieces will have special meaning to Devin and I, and will be tailored to fit us and our beliefs; it will truly be a unique and one of a kind ceremony!

You were raised Catholic and Devin is Jewish. Will your ceremony reflect both of your beliefs? How did you decide?

Right now, we have a loose layout of what our ceremony will look like, which the Rabbi helped us formulate. I believe going forward she will be a huge help in working with us to tailor the specific aspects to our liking. Because this is an interfaith ceremony, there will be some major parts of traditional Catholic and Jewish ceremonies that are left out. We want to be respectful of each other’s beliefs and not force a particular religion on either of us, so we are making this ceremony reflect both of us. The reflect my faith, will have a reading of a bible verse, that has meaning to me, in our ceremony. To reflect Devin’s faith, we are looking at getting a Ketubah’s, which is a traditional Jewish wedding contract, but also a very beautiful piece of art that can be displayed in our home. There will most likely be a lot more aspects from both of our faiths that will be intertwined in our ceremony. We still have plenty of time to finalize everything.


Hope you are as excited as I am to continue following BKMD’s #RubinskyWedding planning process!

What questions do you have about finding an officiant? Let me know!

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